Girl Meets Boy

This is a blog I recently wrote over at my other blog too: http://livingleanandinthegreen.wordpress.com/ 

The biggest experience that has changed my life would be meeting/dating my husband and later marrying him. I know a lot of people say this, but for me it holds true.

Back in the spring/summer of 2007, I had just gotten out of a bad (toxic) long distance relationship that caused me to become deeply depressed and take anti-depressants for awhile. I was not in a place where I was actively seeking romance or a serious relationship, or ANY relationship with a guy for that matter!

Well, I was browsing through my matches on a dating site one day (I was still getting the notifications in my inbox and wanted to cancel my account) and I came upon D’s profile (my husband). Now, it had been awhile since my break-up, a few months at least, and so I was interested in talking to D but not interested in someone who would jerk me around again. No, I was going to be cautious this time. I promised myself  that I would be careful.

Well, as things usually go we talked online and on the phone for about 6 weeks before deciding that we needed to plan on meeting in person. Since this was in the fall of 2007 already, we decided that he would come and visit me (we lived about 600 miles from each other at the time).

So, the holidays came and went, and he came to visit a day or so after Christmas and stayed till after New Year’s.  His visit was the greatest Christmas gift I could have asked for at that time. We talked and learned more about each other, and most importantly we became better friends before deciding to be in a long distance relationship. We shared many of the same spiritual beliefs, morals, and some of the same hobbies. It was obvious that D was a much better match for me than my last boyfriend and so I began to open up more to D.

D and I goofing around when he visited during Dec. 2007.

When he headed home, we stayed in touch by email, IM, and phone between our jobs/college/etc and we continued to grow closer to each other.

Fast-forward a few months and I come to a place where I am making a very important decision. I can either stay in my (very small) hometown and stagnate or I can visit and then maybe move closer to D. The choice was still difficult but I had the courage to leave what I knew, what was comfortable , and venture into the unknown by moving to Southern California, living within 10 miles of D, finding a job, and making new friends, etc. Well, I took the plunge and moved to D’s home city with only a carry on bag and a couple boxes that I mailed to D with my extra clothes and a few books, etc in them.

It was no looking back! I plunged into college in my new home city and got a job a few months after moving, and even made friends with a few new people including my roommate (she was really a character!).

Us on the beach at night, winter 2008 when we were engaged.

As all this was taking place our relationship became more serious and a year after we had met we were engaged and planning our wedding. Although this seems fast for some people, we actually were in premarital counseling for our whole 5 month engagement.

He was serious about me and I about him. We took each other seriously and he was really touched by the fact that I had moved so far from my home to be closer to him. Neither of us had someone else who really took us seriously in a romantic relationship and we found that in each other.

So we were married early in 2009 and it (along with dating D and moving) were the best experiences I have had in my life. Together I feel like we are a team and can take on life’s challenges more easily because we are there to cheer each other on and encourage each other on a daily basis.

Things worked out well for us because we love and respect each other. We hear what the other person has to say and are sure to watch each other’s back, etc. This, along with D being a great guy anyway, is why getting dating and getting married to D are my greatest life experiences

Love is more important to living and to a person’s health than almost anything else (except oxygen)! Also, having great experiences and facing challenging decisions can only sharpen  one’s insight and better one’s life in the long run.

What are the best experiences that you have had?  What have been some of your toughest challenges?

Us goofing around as we always do,even after almost 5 yrs of marriage!

I love this guy!

Categories: Challenges, Coffee, Communication, Extroverts, Family, Friendship, Health, hobbies,

Story of a girl with depression

Note: I am reposting this from my other blog over at another blog-site

I grew up struggling with depression. If that wasn't enough: I've also been poor most of my life, had various health problems, had a long and weird German last name growing up, was (and am) an introverted person, was home-schooled before homeschooling was even considered a viable alternative to regular school, was (and am) left-handed, and the list goes on and on.

 Well, during all the years I was growing up I considered middle class people to be rich and actual rich people to be fairy tales that middle class people told their children (like Aladdin or Cinderella). The concept of having enough money to buy new shoes AND get a cool Christmas gift were too much for my childhood brain to handle.

 When I was 10 or so I saved up my meager $3 a week allowance for about 6 months to buy a Game-Boy. For the first time in my life I experienced the envy of my peers in youth group (I did have social outings, being home-schooled did not make me socially backwards), and this was not something I was used to (although I enjoyed being envied for the whole 10 minutes it lasted).

 Like other teenagers I just wanted to “fit in” and not be thought of as the oddball. I tried to use all the money I made doing housecleaning for elderly people (about $40 a month) to buy the latest music that was “in” and to at least have a couple of cool shirts and pairs of shoes for going to youth group and other local teen events. I was painfully shy as a teen though, and it came off the same way as any good teen comedy (but a million times worse for me at the time and there was no hot guy who sees the real me and becomes my boyfriend by the credits). Worse yet, every social outing felt like the movie “Mean Girls” because I was never good enough to fit in with most girls (I had a few friends, they were weird and awkward like me).

 I swung from one extreme to the other, like a pendulum. First starting out as a shy teen who wore clothes to fit in and listened to the music everyone else listened to and dieted; then I became the older teen who (at least pretended) to not give a crap, dyed my hair all colors of the rainbow (the un-natural colors of course), got a nose ring and then a belly button ring, and listened to only hard rock and metal (and didn't diet, just ate and exercised the calories off again). Yeah, it was a big change for me and the funny thing is that through it all I was depressed. I was depressed as the person who wanted to fit in and as the person who didn't care (or at least tried not to care).

 Even now as an adult I struggle with depression and accepting my introverted personality, as well as my individuality. I have to remind myself every day that other people’s opinions of me don’t matter as much as what I think of myself and my relationship with God and loved ones. I hate that I still look at other people’s money and prosperity, and find myself having a bit of envy. I struggle to have an attitude of gratitude and to accept how God made me.

Most of all I want to accept the path that is my life and not be afraid to reach for my goals and dreams (even if other people think I am crazy, who cares?). I want to come to a place in my life that I am not ashamed of my past self for being poor, shy, and depressed, and to be okay with my personality.

 Do you struggle with envy? Do you struggle with depression or accepting your individuality and personality? How do you cope with the world on a bad day?