My Relative Has a Mental Illness...

I recently found out a close relative of mine has a serious mental illness. It is such a struggle for me to deal with someone I care about very much being so ill and acting so different from how I knew her all my life. When someone has a complete breakdown and acts in ways so alien to their normal self (paranoia, etc) it is hard to think of them as they used to be.
It has been so difficult to cope with the fact that she may never be the same. This is mainly because she is my mom and I can't imagine her NOT acting like her "normal" self. Sure, everyone has good and bad days but there are a lot more bad days right now than good ones. How do you cope with someone else's illness while struggling with your own depression?

The strain and struggle to live a normal life while caring for/praying for/helping an ill relative can take its toll. At some point you start to wonder what to say when someone asks how your relative is doing. Some days you get so stressed out that you feel like blurting out, "Oh, my relative is ok...I mean she has XYZ (insert mental illness here), but otherwise she is ok." People mean well, but unless that person has been through a similar rough experience it is hard for them to empathize with you. This is how I feel, anyway... Truthfully I do appreciate the prayers and concern of a loved one or friend, but sometimes I have to just pray about it and rest on my own or I'll get crabby and snippy with others (who usually mean well).

I think that the caregivers and relatives of a mentally (or even physically) ill person should not be SO hard on themselves. The caregivers and relatives need to take time to rest and laugh, to have joy, and to live in the moment...even when some of these moments are very hard ones to live through. Since I know what I am talking about here (having more than one person I am related to that has a mental illness), I will mention that it IS a struggle for me to remember to rest and enjoy life in the midst of these valleys of trouble. It is in these times that I most need to laugh, to smile, and to hug someone so I feel better and brighten the day of those around me (maybe even the life of my ill relative!).

In my family's case it is a hard road and not one I would have chosen for myself or my mom, but I think that in the end it will make better people of both of us and strengthen our whole family. God is taking care of us! My faith is stronger each day as I see some of the amazing ways God is helping our family through this crisis. Even though I have my own dark days of depression to deal with, I can see how God is going to help me get better also as I help my mom.

Reflections on Van Gogh, God, & Art for the Mentally Ill

"If you hear a voice within you saying, 'you are not a painter,' then by all means paint...and that voice will be silenced." --Vincent Van Gogh.

Recently I have been thinking about Vincent Van Gogh and his struggle with depression and Bi-polar Disorder (which is what many art historians believe he had based on his letters to his brother and some manic episodes he had). It makes me wonder if he had been on medication would he have lived a lot longer and not committed suicide? Or would it not have made a difference? Even if it did make a difference would we even know him as an artist (meaning, would his moods change and affect his art so it was not as interesting or different)? This leads me to think about the role of art in the life of the mentally ill person.

I have had a print of Van Gogh's (perhaps) most famous painting, Starry Night, for several years on my bedroom wall. For most of these years I did not know much about the artist behind that emotion filled night sky painting. No, all I knew was I related to it because I often seek out solitude in nature when I am struggling with my own depression, especially during the really bad times.

After I found out that Van Gogh had painted Starry Night while he was in a mental institution (and only a year before committing suicide), I decided it was time to learn more about him at as artist and a person who coped with mental illness. What I discovered is that he loved to paint natural settings and use vibrant colors, and that many paintings guide the eye to the heavens (at least those like Starry Night do this). My belief is that he was looking for God while he was painting, similar to me on my nature walks, and that it is reflected in many of his works (the heavens) for that reason. Also, I learned that although Van Gogh was a Christian he later seemed to slip in his faith before committing suicide.

It is my hope that even in the midst of his mental turmoil he asked for God to forgive him for taking his own life. I will not know if Van Gogh is in heaven or not until I am with Jesus (on that day when all Christians meet each other in heaven), but he has made me reflect a lot on the role of art in lives of those who suffer from mental illness and how vital it truly is! Art, whether it is merely looking at a painting or painting something yourself, listening to music or playing an instrument, or even just reading a really inspiring Bible verse in Psalms helps to remind you, as a mentally ill or depressed person (or anyone for that matter) that there is hope and that God is always there if you are looking for Him.

Another blogger's post on marriage and mental illness

A friend of my family recently posted about his wife's struggle with mental illness and how it was God who helped them through it. It is a great blog and worth your time to read, check it out below:
http://copstoriesgodstories.blogspot.com/2012/01/behind-badge-commitment-of-marriage.html

(Copy & paste if the link doesn't work above)